


Stranger(s) Still

by Zinzanzelf



Series: Makoto Niijima Week 2020 [3]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Are you living in the real world?, F/M, First snow of the New Year, JKQN, Makoto Niijima Week, Makoto Niijima Week 2020, Makoto's bedroom as seen in P5D and P5R!, Makoto's healthy cooking habits, Real and Ideal, Ren's quiet speech habits, Silver white winters that---, Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, buchimaru-kun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinzanzelf/pseuds/Zinzanzelf
Summary: The week after New Year’s, Makoto receives an unexpected visit from Ren. It’s the happiest he’s ever seen Makoto, his senior, his advisor, his Queen. Uncannily so.For Makoto Niijima Week 2020: Winter/Snow
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Makoto Niijima Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966198
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31
Collections: Makoto Niijima Week 2020





	Stranger(s) Still

**Author's Note:**

> I probably wasn’t the only one who suggested “snow” but I’m elated to see one of my suggestions made it in!

“Allow me to introduce you to Buchimaru-kun!”

Makoto held out the panda’s paw and gave Ren an affirmative nod. He immediately picked up on Buchimaru Social Etiquette, took the paw between his thumb and index finger and shook it.

“...I see. Nice to meet you, Buchimaru-kun. Erm, let’s get along.”

Makoto held the stuffed panda to her face and waved its little paw. “Yes! I think we’re going to be great friends.” squeaked "Buchimaru-kun".

She held Buchimaru-kun aloft. “You made a new friend today! Atta panda!”

Then she snuggled it. Her pure childlike expression made him smile but he kept it to himself. Those meddlesome inhibitions would take center stage if he ever pointed it out and that was the last thing he wanted. He was content to store it in his treasury of happy memories.

However, what he knew he could do was tease her about the panda. Fluster her a little.

“You really like pandas don’t you, Makoto?”

“Why Ren, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

She peeped at him between Buchimaru-kun’s ears. Her eyes glinted with...mischief? Was that mischief he was seeing?

“Er, no. I just thought-”

Buchimaru-kun arced across the room and landed on her desk chair. Ren blinked and the next thing he knew, Makoto had pounced on him with her arms locked around his middle. He flew backwards, arms windmilling in a futile attempt to regain his balance. Fortunately (or perhaps strategically), her bed broke their fall with a soft whump. The back of his hand knocked against the wall and he breathed a sigh of relief when he realized a few inches more, and that’s where his head could have been.

“Worry not.” She giggled and crossed her arms over his chest. “In terms of huggability, you’re at the top of my list.”

“I didn’t even know you kept such a list.” he teased back. “Who else is on there?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

His smirk grew as she used his coat lapels to pull herself forward. 

There was a knock on the door. “Having fun, you two?”

Makoto jumped. “ **Sis!** Ren, um, bumped his head and I was trying to help him up-”

Ren hastily sat both of them up and bowed his head in greeting. “Hello, Sae-san. Pardon the intrusion.”

She nodded and smiled warmly. “Amamiya-kun, please make yourself at home. But behave yourself. Is that clear?”

He kept his head down. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Makoto, I just want to let you know there’s something immediate that I need to take care of at the office. Now, don’t look at me like that. You know I wouldn’t miss dinner for the world if I could help it.”

“Maybe if it suddenly snowed you wouldn’t have to go.” she said, twiddling her fingers.

“‘If wishes were horses’, right?”

The two sisters exchanged a smile. Ren was sure this was the kind of smile Makoto had reminisced about once, but waved it away as “complaining like a spoiled child”. 

Makoto smoothed her skirt and folded her hands in her lap. “Don’t worry about it. I understand. Let me know when you’re heading home. I’ll be sure to have dinner waiting for you.”

Sae excused herself and left to make a phone call. 

“She seems more relaxed now,” he remarked. So much so, it made him consider how someone’s personality could be tweaked and formatted like a computer program. The Sae who spoke to him in the interrogation room was always guarded and showed no vulnerabilities until Makoto was concerned. It was only then that she began to truly listen to his story and Ren knew he would slowly but surely gain her trust. If Sae ever revealed a glimpse of her gentler, sisterly side it was after she pulled him out of the interrogation room and brought him home. He then considered how a power that could alter reality according to one’s whims was actually much worse than some silly metaphor about computers.

“Yes, it’s wonderful ever since she’s been getting better hours. And father comes home from work early. We’ve been able to have dinner together every day. It feels like a dream.”

She rose and sashayed about the room. Her tender expression made Ren swallow his words. They stayed there and formed a lump in his throat. He ground his fist into the mattress when he suddenly felt the winter air upon him. Makoto had flown towards her bedroom window and flung it wide open. She let out a squeal of delight. Snowflakes twirled and fluttered into her room. They stayed on her eyelashes and adorned her hair.

“This is incredible! Ren! Come on, come look!”

She tugged on his hands eagerly and had them lean on the windowsill. She stuck her hand out and watched the snow fall between her fingers.

“We’ll catch a cold…” he muttered.

“Oh, just for a little. Look how beautiful they are. And we can do this.” She slipped her arms past his coat and squished herself against him. “See? We’re warmer already.”

His eyes crinkled in amusement. “Yeah.”

“Or,” she said, tapping her chin. “I could go get my coat and we’d be matching.”

“No.” His arm curled around her waist, keeping her cocooned inside his coat. “Let’s stay like this.”

Snowflakes the size of 10 yen danced through the air and collected in delicate little mounds atop the windowsill. They could see every intricate detail, each spindle, spoke, and wheel of each geometric ice crystal.

She sighed contentedly. “This takes me back to how we spent Christmas Eve. Our first White Christmas. Do you remember?”

“Mmm.” He blew the snowflakes off her head and nestled his chin there. She nuzzled his neck and let out another contented sigh. He wanted to hold her, keep them here in this moment, selfishly let her enjoy this dream-life a little longer. But he had to remind himself of his reason for this impromptu visit. If there was anyone who would listen to the truth it was her!

_Please..._

“Makoto, listen I-”

“Excuse me. Sis is calling.” she exclaimed at the sound of three rapid chirps. She popped out of the coat-cocoon and eagerly raced to her desk. Ren decided they had spent enough time watching the snow and too-perfect snowflakes that couldn’t possibly form at 5°C under normal circumstances. He promptly shut the window.

“Good news! Sis is coming back for dinner. The trains were shut down because of the snow and her boss told her she could turn in her report tomorrow. She doesn’t have to suffer through a long meeting with him! Ah - her words, not mine.”

“That’s great.” He placed Buchimaru-kun back on her bed and patted his head.

“What in the chances, right? I just thought it’d be nice if that happened but it actually did.” She giggled into her hand. “It feels like so many things have been going my way lately. It’s a little odd.”

He suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Ren…?”

“Makoto, tell me something.” He inhaled softly before asking, “Are you happy with the way things are right now?”

“I…” She wrapped her forearms over his back. She felt his ear press into the side of her neck and she thought she heard his breath shudder.

“Why wouldn’t I be…?” She frowned. Ren was asking her to think more deeply about something but before she could process his question further, her thoughts were cut off by a sudden onset of lightheadedness.

“Makoto?”

She felt his hands on her shoulders, steadying her. 

“Sorry, I felt a little dizzy all of a sudden. But I’m fine now.” she said, touching her head gingerly.

“I see. Sorry for asking something weird.” He released her and rubbed his neck. The dizziness had come as quickly as it had gone.

 _Strange… I couldn’t focus for a second._ The more she tried to discern the reason for this brief episode of near syncope, the more muddled her thoughts became. She rationalized it away as getting a little too excited over the first snow of the year.

He sighed quietly again. It was one of those little sighs he gave whenever he was nervous about asking something difficult or when he didn’t quite have the words to form it into a coherent sentence.

“Listen, if there’s something you’re struggling with...” She patted his arm and gave him a small reassuring smile. He looked at her almost pleadingly. “You should talk with Dr. Maruki. He’s a great listener. He helped me sort out my problems.”

“Right. The counselor.” He swallowed. “I have to go now.”

“Good timing. I should start preparing dinner. Father’s coming home early so I want to make sure it’s something special. Something that’s delicious and will give him lots of energy.”

“You really love your dad.” he said simply.

She smiled demurely. “I hope you two can talk sometime. You’d get along just fine, I just know it. Oh, would you like me to walk you back?”

Ren ruffled his jacket and shook his head. “I’m fine. ‘Sides, wouldn’t want to put you behind schedule.”

She gave him a quick hug. “Honestly, you’re always so considerate. I’ll see you off at the front then.”

“Sure.”

* * *

Ren didn’t realize he was already outside the apartment complex until a cold blast of wind hit him full in the face. He took shelter in a narrow alleyway, tightening his scarf around his neck. His vision had gone white, his thoughts still in disarray, and there was an incessant buzzing in his ears. Seeing Makoto like that should have made him happy for her but instead it left him feeling drained and nauseated, the way one feels when they’re homesick. He thunked his head against the wall.

_Is this really okay? My friends...Makoto… Can I leave things like this?_

_This is all wrong._ He wanted to scream. _It’s a lie! It’s an illusion! Why can’t you guys see that?_

_“You expect your friends to help us? Look at them lapping up this so-called ideal reality. At this rate, they’ll just be dead weight.”_

Fist met brick. 

Wrong.

“My friends will come through. Just like before. They just need a little more time.”

Taking one last look at the apartment, Ren shoved his numb hands in his pockets and trudged home.

* * *

“Alright! Let’s get started!”

Makoto drummed her fingers on the counter, surveying a colorful array of eggplants, mushrooms, and scallions, washed and ready to be chopped.

“First up, eggplant.” She chopped them into ½ inch thick pieces, set them aside to soak in a bowl of water and chopped the mushrooms next. When the dashi stock began boiling, she had it simmer and sampled some before mixing in a couple spoonfuls of miso.

“Ren…” she murmured absently. “He seemed more tired than usual. I wonder if something happened. Should I have... Ah! I need to add the eggplant now!”

She gently stirred in the eggplant slices followed by cubes of silken tofu and let the soup simmer some more.

“And now for the final ingredient that brings this dish together.” She playfully tapped a bottle of sesame oil and slid it next to a bowl of chopped scallions. “The recipe did call for shiitake mushrooms but I wonder if it would taste better with different mushrooms? Or maybe a combination of different mushrooms? Well, it’s fine. I’m sure father will be happy when he eats this. Happy...”

It made her mull over Ren’s question. She set the ladle down. “Why does it feel like I’m forgetting something important…?”

The sound of the front door opening broke her out of her introspection.

“I’m home. Whew, the snow’s really coming down. Thank goodness for taxis.”

Makoto perked up at the sound of her father’s voice. That niggling, worrisome feeling in the back of her mind was something that could be addressed later. Eventually.

“Father, welcome home! May I take your coat? Dinner’s ready by the way. Go ahead and get changed. I’ll have everything set up when you come back. Oh, that’s right! You’ll never believe what happened to Sis...”

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes/Ramblings:
> 
> -Enjoy your stay at Marukiland!
> 
> -So because it started snowing, Ren had to hang around at a restaurant or something waiting for the trains to run again.
> 
> -The full idiom is “If wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak.”  
> \- Let me try that again. “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”, meaning if one could readily have what one wanted, life would be easy.
> 
> -I recently learned the word for freckles in Japanese (sobakasu, 雀斑). The second character 斑 can be read as “buchi” meaning spots or freckles. Combined with maru (丸) meaning circle/round, you get “buchimaru” which explains why the panda has circular spots on its back. Round Spots or Freckles the Panda. haha 
> 
> -Bleh, I felt weirded out seeing everyone under Marukiland happiness syndrome and I felt even more weirded out writing Makoto out of character like this. I imagine if her father hadn’t passed away, she would be a bit more cheerful, if not a little spoiled and a bit childish being the baby of the family.
> 
> -Ironically, the most realistic part about Marukiland was how everyone had other plans with other people despite “coincidentally” meeting up at New Year’s. “Oh hai! Fancy seeing you guys here. We should totally hang out. Oh wait, I just remembered I got this thing with my friend/family/other at that one place. Nice seeing you though. See ya!”
> 
> -Honestly, I thought the dream world was a rather indulgent and redundant addition to the game, albeit a fitting one that plays on Royal’s themes of either wallowing in the gratification of your deepest desires or moving forward and facing reality together, hardships and all. Everyone’s resolve was already shown when they awakened to their Persona and accepted their other self. They accepted the fact that the past cannot be changed and were willing to move forward. It felt more realistic whereas adding the dream world felt like yet another rehash of everyone’s emotional struggle rather than developing and expanding on their character arc.
> 
> -Watching the trailers for Royal as soon as I saw Wakaba I was fairly certain Royal was taking the Lotus Eater Machine route. Japan loves this trope. The Human Instrumentality Project, the end of Digimon Adventure 02, the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Gurren Lagann, Wolf’s Rain, Inuyasha, the drug abuse in Code Geass known as “Refrain” to escape reality, and so on. 
> 
> -However! I will say I’m glad we got to see how Wakaba, Futaba, and Sojiro might have lived together as a family, and that we got a glimpse of Makoto and Sae’s father.  
> -I felt the most sorry for Haru. Her father was on the cusp of change and they most likely would have had these father-daughter moments had he lived. It would have been interesting to see someone live with their change of heart, especially someone who was a family member of one of the Phantom Thieves. It also might’ve helped to flesh out Haru’s character some more. We never really see how the villains lived past their confession for the sake of the game’s progress.


End file.
